You Slay Me, a buffy fanfic told in a Teaser & four acts.

by Zach Garland

[As of June 5th, 2002 the fan fiction I’ve posted to fanfiction.net should be read in the following order:

“House of Mirrors” midseason six, somewhere between “Tabula Rasa” and “Hell’s Bells.”

“You Slay Me” faux season 7 episode 1 (relatively soon after real season 6 episode 22 “Grave”)

“As You Know It” faux season 7 episode 2

“Unrest” faux season 7 episode 3 (with shades of sequel to real season 4 episode 22 “Restless”)

“Kulmari” faux season 7 episode 4

Though written in transcript format, this wouldn't actually make a good Buffy episode, because there's just not enough action. It's more of a mental headgame for the character of Willow, though it is visually stimulating in places if you have an active imagination. I rated it PG even though there's nothing really particularly PG about it. It's whatever you'd rate an average episode of the show. There's no real major shipping going on, although I do have a little poke of fun at Buffy & Oz but it's very minimal. It's a very rough draft at the moment, and I would appreciate your thoughts. You can write to zachsmind@yahoo.com. This story takes place AFTER the season six's finale (episodes "Two To Go" & "Grave")... sorta. It also revisits scenes from past episodes of Buffy, like "Welcome To HellMouth & "Dead Man's Party." But I tweak them a lot. The basic gist of the plot is that Willow finds herself reliving the past seven years of her life as if she were Buffy and Buffy were her. So it's a combination of temporal physics gone awry and Willow driving herself crazy. For this second revision I expanded the Teaser and added an obligatory action scene to ACT II, but otherwise it’s mostly the same as the first draft.]

TEASER

SCENE OPENS on a close-up of Willow, who’s apparently sleeping, her eyes are closed and she has a strange smile on her face. Then suddenly she gasps, her eyes open and are completely white. The screen flashes a bright light, enveloping her until the screen turns white, and then we see the screen fades to a beach at sunset. We hear the following Oz voice over as the camera pans from the sunset to Oz & Willow. Oz’s head is above Willow’s. His arms wrapped around her. She looks comforted and consoled. She nestles herself in his embrace like she hasn’t a care in the world. Perhaps they’re standing or kneeling, but this scene should look very similar to the opening scene between Buffy & Angel in the third season premiere episode “Anne.”

WILLOW: How did you find me here?

OZ: The funny thing is, you found me.

WILLOW: Stay with me.

OZ: Remember when I rescued you? Years ago, I took a bullet for you. Then I ran off to howl at the moon. You sucked up the Earth and spit it at hell. I love you. I rescued you. This is how you repay me? By trying to destroy those who love you? We will never leave you. Not even if you kill us.

Willow looks away, still in his embrace, but her contented smile has slowly faded into one of uncertainty and fear. Then we see flashes of her as Dark Willow causing carnage and damage and threatening her own friends.

CUT TO A nondescript bedroom with some boxes randomly displayed around it. The camera shows a shot from above WILLOW in the bed. She’s been having nightmares.

She wakes with a start.

DAWN: (off camera) Willow? ...Willow are you up yet?

WILLOW: (sitting up) Huh? What? D-Dawnie?

Camera CUTS TO Dawn entering room.

DAWN: (entering room, wearing a backpack. Physically she looks the same but she's dressed in clothes obviously circa preteen late 90s) You're still in bed? (crosses to some boxes) This is the first day! You're gonna make us late!

WILLOW: (to herself) F-first d-day?

DAWN: (grabs a shirt and pants and throws them at Willow) Mom's gonna be pissed when she finds out! Get up!

CUT TO Willow still in bed

WILLOW: (blinking. She starts putting the shirt on) Where are we going, Dawny? (from off camera, a pair of undies is thrown and lands on Willow's head)

DAWN: School, dummy!

CUT TO Dawn who is pacing and getting school supplies together for Willow, occasionally throwing things off camera towards Willow still on the bed.)

DAWN: You're going to high school, and I'm going to middle school. I know you're scared, 'kay? We're both scared but that's no excuse to sleep in and freak out like you always do! Just think positive. Make friends. And try not to get us kicked out of the city this time, okay?

CUT TO shot from doorway framing Willow as she gets out of bed deshuffled but clothed. Dawn starts trying to unshuffle Willow and make her look presentable. Willow grabs Dawn by the shoulders.

WILLOW: Dawnie, listen! Something's happening!

DAWN: (forced loud whispers. She's talking through her teeth and looks back at the door as if waiting for Joyce to look in on them any moment) Yes! Something's happening! We're going to school if I have to drag you by your feet kicking and screaming. I don't know what you did back home but this is home now and I don't want you freaking out having Mom lose her job and us moving again. You understand me? Get your act together!

JOYCE: (off camera) Dawn! Willow! Let's go!

DAWN: (very fake smile in her voice) Coming, Mom!

Dawn grabs Willow by the arm with one hand, grabs a pair of shoes for Willow with the other and drags Willow through the door towards the camera. Dawn goes off camera, Willow stops at the door frame. Extreme Close up of her face.

JOYCE: (off camera) Willow? I'm gonna get the car running.

WILLOW: (a look of abject fear and confusion on her face) C-Coming Mom!

BLACKOUT. WOLF HOWL. OPEN CREDITS.

The Open Credits are slightly altered. Instead of “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” it says “Willow The Vampire Slayer.” Just for this episode. However, everything else is the same.

ACT I

Cut to the school. The camera pans from the street to the main building. Cut to Joyce pulling up to the school in her Jeep to drop off Willow.

JOYCE: Things okay with you and Dawn? She seemed a little..

WILLOW: Oh, uh. We're okay, Joyce. Just uh. We're okay.

JOYCE: (laughs nervously) Joyce?

WILLOW: uh, Mrs. Summers? M-Mom?

JOYCE: (looks hard at Willow. beat) Okay! (motions for Willow to get out.)

Willow gets out. Closes jeep door, looks back at Joyce when she hears her voice.

JOYCE: Have a good time. I know you're gonna make friends right away, just think positive. (gives a thumbs up)

Willow looks through the open car door and gives Joyce a quick nod. She turns to go.

JOYCE: And honey?

Willow looks back at Joyce again.

JOYCE: Try not to get kicked out?

WILLOW: Oh of course.

JOYCE: Okay.

WILLOW: (turns back and crosses forward off camera left. To herself) What's happening to me?

Willow faces the school and lets out a deep breath. Joyce drives off. Willow just stands there. Not knowing what to do. Cut to Xander, bobbing and weaving through the crowd on his skateboard. (it looks cooler this time)

XANDER: 'Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, not sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me... (notices Willow) Whoa!

He stares at her and doesn't notice that he's headed right for the stair railing. He crashes into it and falls beneath it, grunting in pain. Buffy appears on screen. She walks up and has to step high to avoid tripping over his legs.

XANDER: I'm Okay. I feel good.

Buffy looks down at him, smiling and pulling her hair behind her ear.

XANDER: (sees her) Buffy! You're so very much the person that I wanted to see! (gets up)

BUFFY: Oh, really?

They start walking toward the school, passing Willow whose eyes are practically bigger than her head. She's staring right at them. Xander glances back embarrassedly. Buffy doesn't notice Willow at all.

XANDER: Yeah. You know, I was hoping to get on the team and thought you being a cheerleader you could put in a good word for me?

BUFFY: Well it doesn't really work that way-

WILLOW: (runs to & around them, so her back's ends up to the camera) Buffy! Xander! God, it's so good to see you!

XANDER: You.. you know me?

BUFFY: Uh, hi? You look new. How do you know our names?

WILLOW: Guys! It's me! Willow!

BUFFY: Wow. That's an original way to get to know new people. Works for me. But might not work for most people. Does it work for you Xander?

XANDER: (to Willow) Well I can pretend we're long time friends if that works for you. I'm easy. uh, I mean flexible- Ack what I mean to say-

BUFFY: Xander's like this around women. It takes some getting used to. Come to think of it you two probably have a lot in common.

WILLOW: You don't remember me?

BUFFY: Sorry. Nope. Willow was it?

Willow nods unhappily

BUFFY: I do wanna help you though. You might not want to try this "old friends" gimmick on anyone else here at Sunnydale. It's kinda freaky weird and if you're new you don't want to stand out. Xander? Show Willow around okay? (she pretends to notice someone behind Willow wanting to talk to her, by smiling & nodding & waving off camera) I gotta go. Nice to meet you! (Buffy leaves quickly)

Xander & Willow stand there a beat. Awkwardly. Willow looks over Xander's shoulder and sees a car on the street. In the car she sees Angel's face briefly, surrounded by black.

WILLOW: Angel?

XANDER: Well I try to be an angel. What if I start by showing you the-

Willow runs past Xander towards the street. She starts calling off after Angel. We don't see inside the car again, but it drives off with squealing tires as Willow hits the street still calling out after him. She stands there in the middle of the street for a beat, calling after him, then dejectedly walks back towards the curb. Xander's standing there.

XANDER: Boyfriend? With a car? That's cool.

WILLOW: No he's not a.. Xander!

XANDER: That IS freaky, Buffy's right about that. How do you know my name?

WILLOW: This is all so wrong! It's like I'm back in high school again. I already did this, but I wasn't me. I mean. I was Buffy and Buffy was me.

XANDER: Come again?

WILLOW: I don't think you'd believe me if I told you. I don't think anyone... wait. Giles!

XANDER: Giles? Another boyfriend?

WILLOW: No. He's the librarian. I think. If this is where I think it is.

XANDER: Where you think? This is school! You're at a school. There is a library. Look, I can show you the library.

WILLOW: No thanks. I know the way. I'll see you uh.. later? (she walks away from him. Talking to herself) Much. Later.

XANDER: Ah.. Okay! I'll uh, see you later then? Yeah. Great.

CUT TO LIBRARY

Willow rushes into the library and looks around. It looks deserted.

WILLOW: Hello? Is anybody here?

She looks at the book checkout counter and sees a newspaper. She looks at the date. 1997. A picture has been circled. The caption above it reads "Local Boys Still Missing." Giles comes up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. She spins around, startled.

WILLOW: Ooo! (exhales) Anybody's here!

GILES: Can I help you?

WILLOW: Yes I need some help and I think you're the only person who can help me.

GILES: Miss Willow Summers?

WILLOW: No! Rosenberg! Willow Rosengerg.

GILES: Well I got the Willow part right. I'm Mr. Giles.

WILLOW: I know. Rupert Giles. The librarian, right?

He heads around behind the counter.

GILES: I was told you were coming. Although they didn't tell me you were going by your mother's maiden name. That makes sense though, since you recently divorced.

WILLOW: Can you please explain to me what's going on here?

GILES: I know what you're after!

With a big grin on his face he pulls out a large old book with the word "VAMPYR" written in gold leaf on the front cover. Buffy looks up at him with an uneasy gaze.

WILLOW: That's not what I'm looking for.

GILES: Are you sure?

WILLOW: I'm *way* sure.

GILES: (confused) My mistake.

He puts the book back behind the counter.

GILES: (straightening back up) So, what is it you said-

WILLOW: I think you should sit down.

GILES: You do understand who you are, correct? I got the position here as librarian so we can keep a low profile. Are you sure you don't want the handbook? You look the book type.

WILLOW: (suddenly completely forgets her urgency) Wait is that THE handbook? The slayer handbook?

Giles obediently reaches back over to bring her the book, then places it back on the counter for her to peruse. Willow opens it voraciously and begins trying to memorize it all at once.

GILES: It's only the first volume actually. After we've worked through the basics of this volume together we can get into the others.. You know it's probably not wise to use the word "slayer" in public. You never know when people might walk in on us.

WILLOW: Oh well I always thought that Buff- (stops herself. closes the book.) I can't believe me! Giles! Something's happening.

GILES: Already? (he lightly takes her by the elbow and leads her to a nearby table. They sit down.) Have you already encountered something? You've only just moved to Sunnydale! Was it a vampire? Demon? Were there any distinguishing marks?

WILLOW: Giles! No! You're not.. Oh, this is so hard.

GILES: (comfortingly puts his hands on hers) It's alright. Take a deep breath. We'll get through this together.

CUT TO Willow bracing herself at the table. She takes a deep breath and then says all the following in one exhalation.

WILLOW: Okay I'm not supposed to be the vampire slayer I'm supposed to be the vampire slayer's best friend I'm not supposed to be Willow Summers I'm Willow Rosenberg and it's supposed to be Buffy Summers but this morning I woke up seven years back in time in Buffy's bed and her sister woke me up and told me not to ruin her life and then Buffy's mom who died two years ago is suddenly alive again and she drove me to school and I met Xander and Buffy only Xander and Buffy didn't recognize me and they don't know me from anyone but for the past seven years they and you and me we've all been working real hard fighting demons and vampires and annoying fairytale monsters who steal people's voices and then their hearts and I fell in love with a werewolf one time and then I learned how to be a witch but I was never a vampire slayer I'm not supposed to be the slayer I'm supposed to be the slayer's best friend.

CUT TO Giles who looks utterly stupefied.

WILLOW: (breathless) See?

GILES: (takes off his glasses and begins cleaning them with a handkerchief) They told me that your previous watcher died in battle, and that you might be a bit.. mentally disturbed from the experience, but..

WILLOW: Disturbed? I'm not disturbed. Giles you've gotta trust me! Uh! I know you're from England! I know people used to call you the Ripper, though I never really paid much attention to understanding why. I know you have a really sweet nice lady named Olivia who will visit you from England and you two-

GILES: You know Olivia? How do you know Olivia?

WILLOW: Because I met her! Or rather I will! When I'm me again. Ooh! This is all so strange! My point is I couldn't possibly know all this about you if I was who you think I am or if I was disturbed. So I must be me. I mean Willow.

GILES: But you are Willow.

WILLOW: Yes! But I'm not Willow the Vampire Slayer. I'm just technogeek Willow. And then last I remember I became super scary veiny Willow with magic powers and I almost destroyed the world but then Xander- ..Oh my God! I almost destroyed the world! Maybe I did destroy the world and this is hell? This is my hell. Where I'm doomed to live out Buffy's life over and over for all eternity. Lord knows I probably deserve it but- Oh, Giles you've gotta help me!

GILES: Maybe we should take this from the top. You say you already know me.

WILLOW: Yes!

GILES: But I don't know you.

WILLOW: That's because I've somehow gone back in time. Or something...

He takes off his glasses and begins cleaning them with a cloth once again. Willow doesn't skip a beat.

WILLOW: ...I'm living the first day of school for Buffy. Only instead of me being me, I'm where Buffy was and she's where I was and Buffy's ..well Buffy's still Buffy but she's like friends with Xander. And I was friends with Xander, but now he doesn't know me and wants to show me around the school as if we've never met.

GILES: Now, slow down. You keep getting ahead of yourself.

WILLOW: Wait! The paper! (she stands and crosses back to the counter, picks up the paper. Shows it to Giles). Today was the day that they find a dead body in the locker room. Then later Buffy learned it had bite marks. I remember because it was the same day Buffy actually treated me like a real person. She was the first cheerleader type of person ever to treat me like a real person. At first I thought she was like everyone else and just wanted me to help her with her homework but she turned out to be so much more! Oh Giles, I don't want to live Buffy's life. My life was hard enough.

GILES: (beat. Giles stands up from table and crosses back to meet her at the counter) There's a body in the locker?

WILLOW: Yes! If you go there right now you'll know I'm saying the truth! Or, we can just wait till someone else finds the body and then you'll know I'm not crazy.

GILES: (looking at her with a smile on his face) I don't think you're crazy, Willow.

WILLOW: Well you're looking at me like you think I'm crazy.

GILES: Well it is difficult for me to understand how you could know so much about my past when so far as I know no one could have told you I was even going to be here waiting for you, but it's not entirely out of the question that somehow you were briefed on my arrival.

WILLOW: Why? To play a practical joke on you?

GILES: Well it wouldn't be the first one.

WILLOW: People have played practical jokes on you, Giles?

GILES: On occasion. You're not the only one who had a rough time before University.

WILLOW: What do I do?

GILES: Well based on what you've explained to me, I recommend that you go to class and continue participating in what you think ..Buffy's life was this day. I'll research and try to find previous occasions like this, and perhaps more evidence will present itself.

WILLOW: (a knowing look) In other words you don't know what to do either.

GILES: Well I... If what you say is true you obviously came to me because in your subjective perspective of reality I managed to come up with extreme answers to extreme situations, which is in fact what I do. And I do thank you for confiding in me by the way, but I'm not the Giles you remember. I mean I haven't the advantage of seven extra years of experience. I don't know what you mean by almost destroying the world-

WILLOW: My girlfriend got killed and I went a little.. murderous rampagy with the dark magicks. And Buffy tried to stop me. But she couldn't.

GILES: Who stopped you?

WILLOW: Xander. Thank God...

As if on cue, Xander opens the door. Camera angle shows him in the background. He looks around, spots Willow, and starts walking towards the two of them at the counter.

WILLOW: I'm still a bit upset about it all but I have to figure this out first. I must have blacked out after I tried to kill him..

XANDER: Kill who? Willow, right? They're asking about you. You're in my first period class and when you didn't answer at roll call I told the teacher I thought I might know where you were. So. You're late. First day of class. Not a good thing, but I know the teacher I think we can straighten this out. (he nods at Giles) Sir. Sorry to interrupt.

GILES: Oh no by all means (Giles reaches into his pocket for a pink slip and a pen) it's perfectly alright. Miss Summers was just inquiring about our ..volunteer tutor program.

WILLOW: I was?

GILES: You were.

WILLOW: Oh yes of course. I uh- was.

GILES: Xander is it?

XANDER: How come everybody knows my name all the sudden? Was I in the school paper?

GILES: Just tell your teacher I'm sorry and if she needs an explanation, I uh.. I'll come up with something.

XANDER: Great. Pink slip. Always a good thing. Got one of those for me too? Cuz, the hall monitors are fierce around here before lunch.

GILES: Just stay with Miss Summers and go straight to class.

XANDER: Gotcha.

WILLOW: Giles?

GILES: (after giving her the pink slip he takes off his glasses and wipes them with a handkerchief) Just go back to class *Miss Summers* and we'll finish discussing your unique situation later. Alright?

WILLOW: (as Xander is politely escorting her back to the door) You do that glass cleaning thing way too much, Giles.

GILES: Quite.

CUT TO HALLWAY outside girls' locker room. It's later in the day and there's people walking back and forth. The principal can be seen staring at students as he walks down the hall as if they're all guilty of something. He almost runs into Giles who enters screen cleaning his glasses and looks preoccupied in this thoughts.

PRINCIPAL: Mister Giles!

GILES: Oof! Sorry! Yes?

PRINCIPAL: Just the man I wanted to see.

GILES: (dryly) Oh really?

PRINCIPAL: Yes. I hear you were talking with the new student. Miss Willow Summers?

GILES: Yes she came to the library to discuss with me about our tutorial program.

PRINCIPAL: Well usually the new students are to be directed to my office so I can properly introduce them to the school.

GILES: Oh she hadn't already met with you? I thought that was how she learned about our tutorial program.

PRINCIPAL: Oh really?

GILES: Yes and she had wonderful things to say about you sir.

PRINCIPAL: But I didn't-

GILES: Yes she certainly did you made quite an impression on her-

Women's screams can be heard and a lot of young women begin rushing out of the girls' locker room. Giles glances over and notices where he is with a schock of revelation on his face.

GILES: If you'll excuse me, sir..

Giles runs to the locker room door, fighting against the stream of exiting women. CUT TO inside girls locker room which is mostly deserted by now. Giles is looking about with the principal not far behind him.

PRINCIPAL: Mister Giles! This is -what do you you think you're doing!?

GILES: Screams usually mean trouble, Mister Flutie. I'm uhm.. doing my duty.

Giles stops short in one of the halls of lockers where he sees a dead body on the floor. Two women, one dressed in towels the other just barely finished dressing in her clothes run away from the body and past him. They run into the principal and then off camera.

PRINCIPAL: We have women coaches for this sort of thing! This is highly irregular. (he spots the dead body and his face turns cold) Oh dear.

GILES: (Grabs principal by the collar with one hand) Quick! Go call an ambulance immediately!

PRINCIPAL: Yes! Uh, good thinking, Mister Giles. (and with that he's gone)

Giles rushes to the body and kneels before it. The place is completely deserted. He checks the corpse's wrist for a pulse, then glances around worriedly before checking the neck. CLOSEUP of bitemarks on the corpse's neck. CUT back to medium close up of a worried Giles.

GILES: Dear God. Willow Summers was right. The Council never prepared me for temporal anomalies. (heavy sigh) Oh dear.

ACT II

Scene opens in what at first glance appears to be a dilapidated and condemned old church. A portion of a wall has crumbled and broken away, revealing darkness and overgrowth outside. Doors and windows are boarded up. Some stained glass windows can be seen but they have been damaged and broken. Time has not been good to this place.

Willow stands dressed in a black leather jacket, blue jeans and a white blouse. She’s wielding a kick ass sword in both hands and looking about as if she’s hunting for something. She gets to the center of the room, where there are broken pews before her and a weather beaten podium behind her. She looks back where she came from and motions to the others.

WILLOW: It’s all clear.

Xander, Anya, Buffy & Oz appear. Buffy is holding a spell book in her hand, and the others are brandishing various anti-vampire weapons of choice. She’s staying close to Oz. Xander & Anya are also staying close together. They make their way across cautiously, eventually flanking Willow on both sides looking for potential enemies.

XANDER: You guys sure this is the place?

BUFFY: They said an abandoned church, though I don’t know how they can come in here.

OZ: Yeah I mean it’s broken down but I thought vampires couldn’t enter churches?

ANYA: That’s largely a myth, but vampires can’t enter a place unless they’ve been invited.

XANDER: Well over the front door there’s a stupid sign saying “All Are Welcome Here.” Maybe we should take that down before they get here?

CUT TO front door as it is forced open revealing Spike, Drucsilla, eight thrawl thugs who enter the church with a bit of style and flourish.

SPIKE: Too late for that, mate.

OZ: (whispers to Willow) I thought you said the coast was clear?

WILLOW: (brandishing sword in the direction of the approaching vampires) I did! I thought it was!

ANYA: Buffy how you coming with that protection spell?

BUFFY: Protection spell? (looks down in the book) Oh yeah. (she begins mumbling strange syllables)

ANYA: Just ‘Oh yeah?’ What’s that mean?

Cut to Xander & Oz who stand side to side and prepare themselves for battle)

XANDER: Ready Wolf man?

OZ: Ready X-man!

Willow runs up to face Spike but two of the thugs step forward to defend him. She begins fighting them as a third thug goes after Oz & Xander. Dru & Spike take a scenic route around the broken pews to make their way to the altar. He motions for his five other hoods to break around the other way, thus closing in on Anya & Buffy.

ANYA: Protection spell, Buffy!

Buffy nods and continues chanting louder. Just as Spike approaches them near the altar, he and Dru are stopped by a magic force field. Buffy sticks her tongue out at Spike and then she and Anya highfive each other.

SPIKE: There’s more than one way to skin a couple cheerleaders, pet.

ANYA: (raises her weapon) I’ll show you how to skin things, ‘pet!’

BUFFY: (stops her from attacking) No! You can’t!

ANYA: Why not?

BUFFY: The protection spell will dissipate if we attack from the outside.

DRU: (laughs) So you two just trapped yourselves!

SPIKE: Two girls in a magic bubble. Nothing gets in. Nothing gets out. Boys!

Spike snaps his fingers and a couple thugs grab the magic bubble and heft it up over their heads. Buffy & Anya go with it. It’s uniquely hilarious. Buffy & Anya fall on top of one another, floating in the air inside the bubble and the two thugs start playing catch with them.

CUT TO Willow who’s just lopped the heads off the two thrawls, and turns to help Xander & Oz who seem to be in a bit of trouble with their thug. However, she then sees Anya & Buffy in trouble.

SPIKE: Care for a game of keep away, Slayer?

Willow’s frozen. She doesn’t know whether to help the guys or the girls. A look of frustration hits her face. She looks over at the girls, then the boys. Then back at the girls.

DRU: Ooh look, lover. The Slayer’s found herself in a bit of a pickle.

Suddenly, from underneath the old podium, DAWN appears covered in water balloons and wielding two very large pump action water pistols. She’s got a smile big as life.

DAWN: No I think you’re the ones in a pickle!

WILLOW: DAWN!

Spike & Dru turn to see Dawn spray a powerful stream of holy water across the entire room in a wide arc. As it hits each of the thralls, they scream and burn, steam coming off their skin. They cower from the spray and get as far away from Dawn as possible. The thrall that was attacking Xander & Oz goes down, allowing the boys to deal the final blow on him. Dru & Spike just barely manage to avoid getting hit at all by rushing back towards the front door, tripping on rubble as they go.

DAWN: (laughing) You guys are all wet!

Dawn sprays again, this time getting the two thralls giving the girls in the protection bubble a hard time. Anya & Buffy fall in a clump on the ground. One of the thralls goes up in flames from the holy water and runs into a boarded up door, busting through it as he runs away.

WILLOW: Dawn I told you to stay home!

DAWN: (turns one of the holy water guns on Willow, shooting her in the face) I’m saving your sorry butt, sis!

WILLOW: (angrily) Dammit, this is too dangerous for you!

DRU: (temper tantrum like a spoiled brat) They’re running away! We’re losing! (she punches Spike in the shoulder) Do something!

SPIKE: You may have won this round Slayer but you won’t win the war!

Dawn drops one of her guns which falls to her side but stays near the hip as she’s got a shoulder strap. She grabs a water balloon that’s strapped to a leather belt and throws it across the room, landing a few feet short of Spike & Dru. The impact hits them with a little spatter, causing them to scream and vacate the way they came.

Anya swipes at the air, breaking the protection spell. She helps Buffy up and they rush to Dawn’s side.

OZ: (looks over at Dawn) I thought that holy water stuff didn’t really work on vampires.

DAWN: It does when you have faith. (points at herself with a fisted thumb smug smile) I have faith!

ANYA: Way to go, Dawn! Makin’ with the Slayer sister savvy!

BUFFY: (rushes to Oz) Are you okay, pooh bear?

OZ: (they embrace) Nothin’ a couple kisses can’t fix (they kiss)

XANDER: (shakes Dawn’s hand) Thanks, Dawn. That was some great shooting!

CUT TO bust shot of Willow, who’s soaking wet.

WILLOW: Guys! Don’t encourage her! (rolls her eyes) Joyce is gonna kill me!

Willow wipes the water off her face and sighs heavily. Camera fades from a close up of her face to--

NEW SCENE:

It's another year later. Giles' apartment building. Cut to outside his door. The kids are all standing there.

By kids I should specify. Willow is sort of flanked by Xander and Anya, Buffy and Oz. It looks familiar to the opening of the episode "Dead Man's Party" from season two, but Cordelia is nowhere to be found, and though Willow still looks pretty much like Willow and Buffy still looks pretty much like Buffy, there's still some almost unconscious differences about their demeanor & appearance. It's obvious at a glance that Willow's in charge of this little clique. Dawn is not in this scene.

WILLOW: You know, maybe it's too late. Maybe we should just come back tomorrow.

No one makes a move to go. Willow looks at the door, then back at the others.

WILLOW: Wha-What if he's mad at me? Still? Again?

XANDER: Mad? Just because you ran away and abandoned your post and your friends and your mom and made him lay awake every night worrying about you? (to Oz and Buffy) Maybe we should wait out here.

Willow gives him a look. Then she gives Buffy & Oz a stranger look. Buffy & Oz are holding hands. They both get self conscious and let go at the same time. Willow turns around to face the door, reaches for the knocker and taps it a few times.

Cut inside. Giles opens the door and sees Willow standing there flanked by the others. His face remains expressionless for a long moment.

XANDER: (to Giles) Check it out. The Watcher is back on the clock. (Giles slips on his glasses) And just when you were thinking career change, maybe becoming a... a looker or a... a seer.

GILES: Thank you, Xander.

He looks at his Slayer.

GILES: Welcome home, Willow.

Willow gives a worried smile at him. He pulls the door open further and steps back so they can all come in.

Cut to Giles' living room. Oz, Buffy, Anya and Xander are all on he couch. Willow is sitting in a facing chair. Giles is leaning on the backrest of another chair.

WILLOW: I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see Joyce first.

ANYA: You call your mom by her first name? That's so weird.

WILLOW: Uh, yeah Joyce. My mom.

GILES: Yes. Yes, of course. How, how did you find her?

BUFFY: Well, I pretty much remembered the address.

GILES: Ah, eh, I mean, uh...

The teakettle in his kitchen begins to whistle.

GILES: How are things between you? (notices the whistling) Ah. Excuse me. (goes into the kitchen, removing his glasses as he does so.)

OZ: Hey, so Will. You're not wanted for murder anymore.

WILLOW: Good. That was such a drag.

XANDER: So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?

WILLOW: (gives him an odd look) Why would I go to Belgium?

XANDER: I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you? (smiles hugely and giggles) Bel-gium!

They both laugh. Willow glances over at Buffy & Oz who are very cozy on the couch. A chill seems to run down Willow's spine.

Cut into the kitchen. Giles gets the cups out of his cupboard. He smiles as he listens to the conversation in the living room, pleased that they are getting along so well again so quickly. Then he glances over at something on the counter and his face changes expression to one of somber resolve.

WILLOW: What about you, Xander? What's up with you?

XANDER: Oh, you know, same old, same old.

Giles puts on his glasses and leans with his arm against the cupboard, reading from some notes he'd been working on just before they arrived. He touches his hand on an open book, then looks back towards the living room as if wondering whether anyone was looking over his shoulder. His concern darkens.

ANYA: Hardly.

XANDER: Okay, I lied, a whole lot is new.

WILLOW: Well, that's good, isn't it? New is good.

Giles shakes himself out of his reverie and completes preparing the tea.

XANDER: Oh, yeah, absolutely, except for the obvious. It's not too much...

ANYA: Yeah, 'cause you weren't at the hotel.

Giles lifts up the serving tray and takes it into the living room.

XANDER: Anya's parents dragged her onto a luxury vacation.

WILLOW: I feel for you.

GILES: Here we are then. (sets the tray on the coffee table) Cheer us up.

He sits down in his chair and takes the teapot. Willow and Xander each take a cookie from the tray. Oz & Buffy are far too interested in one another to notice the tray or anything else in the room.

ANYA: So were you, like, living in a box, or what?

WILLOW: Well, it's a long story.

XANDER: So skip the heartwarming stuff about kindly old people and saving the farm and get right to the dirt.

GILES: (pours several cups) Perhaps Willow could use a little time to adjust before we grill her on her summer activities.

WILLOW: What he said.

XANDER: Fair enough. In fact, you can leave the slaying to us while you settle in. We got you covered.

WILLOW: So I noticed. You guys seem down with the slayage, all tricked out with your walkies and everything.

ANYA: Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty, like Hilfiger maybe.

GILES: And how was your sister?

WILLOW: Fine, I guess. She wanted to come tonight but I keep telling her she's too young to.. you know.

ANYA: Poke fangy vampire types with pointed sticks?

WILLOW: Exactly. Buffy was always right about that.

Giles clears his throat. Buffy & Oz practically fall out of the couch but manage to not appear too surprised that Buffy's name came up in conversation & they hadn't been listening.

BUFFY: Huh? I mean what?

OZ: Whoops! Sorry.

BUFFY: Oh no that's my boo. (they settle each other back in the couch)

WILLOW: I mean you were always saying how Dawnie shouldn't go trotting out getting in danger. I thought you were being overprotective then but I certainly understand now.

BUFFY: What do you mean? Dawnie? I'm the one who told you last year now that she knows about you, she should be a part of our little Scooby Squad. She's a plucky kid. She can take care of herself?

WILLOW: Buffy?

BUFFY: I don't remember ever agreeing with you on that.

WILLOW: Oh yeah..

BUFFY: But I mean she's your sister.

WILLOW: Right. Of course.

OZ: I'd have to agree. (everyone looks at him.) I mean about her being your sister. But.. Ah.. I understand your points too, Buffy. And I've exceeded my number of words for the day.

An uncomfortable silence. Everyone else looks away. Giles is looking at Willow. Willow's looking at Buffy & Oz.

GILES: (standing up) Right, well. I know this is going to sound a bit unorthodox, but ..uhm..

ANYA: What is it, Giles?

GILES: I'd uh.. Like a few moments alone with my slayer if you don't mind. Perhaps the lot of you could run off and get some.. American goodies? Candy bars and what not? There's a gas station down the street on the corner. That'll be long enough for me to ..catch Willow up on some things the council's asked me to discuss with her.

The others are already tentatively standing up and heading for the door, other than Anya.

ANYA: But these cookies are fine (she takes one for the first time) I mean they look good.

XANDER: Oh well Anya.. I've suddenly got a hankering for some cheetos.

ANYA: Oh?

XANDER: (politely takes her by the elbow and helps her to the door) and so do you.

ANYA: But I hate cheetos.

GILES: (calling after them but sitting back down) We'll only need a few minutes, but kindly knock upon your return.

OZ: You got it.

Buffy, Xander, Oz & Anya make a hasty exit kibitzing with one another about what they're going to go buy, pretending they actually want to go to the gas station but thinking he's going to give Willow a royal thrashing. The door closes. There's an uncomfortable silence as Willow & Giles look at each other.

WILLOW: You are mad at me. Look, the same thing happened to the other Buffy. She had to leave for awhile and clear her head after she got wanted for murder. I understood then why she left. She came back. So have I. I must admit at the time I wasn't quite that cozy to Oz as she is now. You know it's kinda disturbing seeing them like that. I mean I never got quite like that. Buffy's so..

GILES: She's so not you.

WILLOW: Yeah.. You're not mad at me? This isn't about now?

GILES: No.

WILLOW: It's about the other thing.

GILES: Yes.

WILLOW: We've hardly discussed it.

GILES: Yes and I must admit there have been times when I thought you were kidding me two years ago. But then you'd know things. Things that no one could have known. Like a sixth sense. No slayer's ever had that.

WILLOW: Yes. Well. I'm special, I guess.

GILES: Quite. And then there's Angel.

WILLOW: Oh I know I so screwed that up. If this Buffy knew what that Buffy did, she'd be so mad at me. I didn't plan on it, but well, I just wasn't there at the right times, since I just couldn't bring myself to ..you know..

GILES: He wasn't your type.

WILLOW: Right.

GILES: So he was alone at times when in your alternate timeline Buffy was with him.

WILLOW: Right.

GILES: So you weren't there when he needed saving.

WILLOW: (dejected. Guilty.) I so wish I could go back. Now that he's dead. I mean dead dead. Well there was a lot of stuff that was supposed to happen but with him out of the picture, I honestly don't know what's going to happen now. How Spike & Drucilla will... Gee my mind's a blank there. And Angel really was a nice guy. I mean you never got to know him like I did. Well, I never really got to know him, except vicariously through Buffy. Back then I didn't know I was..

GILES: Gay?

WILLOW: Yeah.

GILES: So why does seeing Oz with Buffy bother you?

WILLOW: I don't know. I was where this Buffy is now. I guess.. I mean just cuz I'm gay now doesn't mean I don't still.. Oh I don't know.

GILES: You're hard on Buffy sometimes. She's just a cheerleader. Not as smart as you, perhaps. Not as strong. Sometimes not as brave.

WILLOW: Oh THIS Buffy, yes.

GILES: You often expect her to be able to accomplish things that she couldn't possibly do. Be another you.

WILLOW: But I keep telling you, Giles! She was me! I mean she was the slayer!

GILES: Quite.

Giles stands up and walks into the kitchen. He heads for his notes. Willow stays sitting in the chair.

WILLOW: You still don't believe me do you?

GILES: Oh no. I believe you. Unfortunately it's the only explanation. I've been pondering this temporal dilemma for the past two years, trying to find some prior example with slayers where this has happened.

WILLOW: Has it? Ever?

Giles returns to the living area with the notes and a book. He sets them in his lap as he returns to his seat.

GILES: Never. However, by pure chance I did come across times when situations vaguely similar to this have happened.

WILLOW: You have?

GILES: And I must commend you, Willow. The past two years must have been really trying for you. You've managed to slip into the role of slayer exceptionally well.

WILLOW: Don't patronize me.

GILES: Why whatever do you mean?

WILLOW: I killed Angel.

GILES: (lying but trying to make her feel better) You most certainly did not. In fact comparing what has transpired with us to what you say Buffy did in your shoes, I must say you did admirably what any slayer should have done. I can't imagine how I would have allowed a slayer I'm watching to fall in love with a vampire.

WILLOW: We didn't tell you. At first.

GILES: Well..

WILLOW: And he was a vampire with a soul! He did some wonderful things. He saved us a number of times. I really wish I could go back..

GILES: Yes well you've read the vampire handbook. You know more about the duty and responsibility of your job than Buffy had. The, uhm.. Other Buffy..

WILLOW: What are you getting at, Giles?

There is a knock at the door.

GILES: (totally out of character and with some anger in his voice) We're not DONE! (he removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose) This is going to take longer than I thought.

WILLOW: Uh, guys? (she stands up and walks over to the door)

GILES: (forced whisper) don't let them in! (he looks around holding the notes and the book trying to figure out where to hide them but is at a bit of a loss)

WILLOW: (back towards Giles) okay. (to behind door) Look guys, he's not done tearing me a new one so maybe we should all get together tomorrow morning?

Giles stands up and slowly walks towards her. Because of the lighting we see him mostly sihloetted. It appears imposing, indicating that something's not right. More not right than things have been until now.

XANDER: (off camera from behind door) You okay, Willow?

WILLOW: I'm great! Don't worry about me! I'll tell you all about it in the morning!

OZ: Don't leave out any details!

BUFFY: And I wanna see any bruises if he hurts you! (laughter from the others and footsteps)

WILLOW: (Willow waves consciously at the door) Okay! Bye!

We hear byes from the others faintly as they walk out of earshot. OVER THE SHOULDER SHOT over Giles, facing Willow, as she turns around and her face is bathed in a green glow, apparently from Giles' eyes.

GILES: *Penphyskali!*

A green light shoots from Giles to Willow. She lets out a partial squeak that was almost a scream, then reaches for her neck, unable to breathe. Her eyes roll back in her head and she falls out of view.

Cut to Giles leaning down and picking up her body.

GILES: Foolish girl. You didn't even see it coming, did you?

HARD BLACK.

ACT III

The scene is the training room. The one in the back of the Magic Box. Willow is strapped down on a sturdy looking table made of hard wood and metal. She's being held fast and tight with leather straps and chains. She's unconscious and still glowing a little green, but the glow is slowly subsiding. Giles can be seen in the darkness walking around the table, double checking the fasteners.

The camera starts with a shot level with the table. It circles around the table less than 45 degrees to reveal a single folding chair to the side of the table and then as Willow begins stirring, the camera angle floats up and over Willow until we can just see her face.. her eyes still closed. We hear Giles chanting some curious magic mantra over and over.

The glow completely goes away. Giles' stops chanting and slowly makes his way around the table to the chair. Willow's eyes flutter awake.

GILES: Ah. Good. You're awake.

WILLOW: (sleepy. in some minor pain.) Ever the english speaking the obvious kinda person. (she attempts to move, inadvertently testing the restraints) Hey! What gives?

GILES: I'm terribly sorry Willow but this is just a precaution. Based on what you've told me in the past and what I've researched, (camera reveals that Giles' eyes are still glowing green. He is not wearing glasses) I felt it was necessary to restrain you.

WILLOW: Wha? Dammit! Lemme go!

The following dialogue cuts back and forth between a shot over Willow's body facing the sitting Giles, to a shot over the table revealing a comfortable bust shot of Willow on the table. Giles occasionally plays with his glasses, but he never puts them on.

GILES: Sorry. Can't quite let you go just yet.

WILLOW: What did I do?

GILES: You admitted it yourself. You attempted to kill all your friends, including myself, in an alternate reality. And in this reality you've allowed Angel to die, which you said didn't happen in the reality you claim to have come from. If all this is true, I've noticed you looking strangely at Oz & Buffy recently, and I can't take any chances on further loss of life.

WILLOW: Look! I said I was sorry!

GILES: About Angel?

WILLOW: Yes!

GILES: What about those you killed in your own reality?

WILLOW: I never killed Buffy or Oz!

GILES: But you said you almost destroyed the world before you blacked out.

WILLOW: Oh! Well! Maybe I was just exaggerating?

GILES: (smiling curiously) I think not. (he picks up a book from the floor)

WILLOW: Look I told you everything! Two years ago! I know we haven't talked about it in awhile! I'll say it again! I'm not lying to you.

GILES: I'm not accusing you of lying, Willow.

WILLOW: Nine years ago now I met Buffy in high school and I was just a nerdy little kid who liked computers and she slayed vampires and I got to know her and we became friends and I helped her with you know what she does and I got involved in black magic and did some things that yes I regret now but Warren killed my girlfriend Tara so I went a little - I went a little crazy I'll admit that but that was a long time ago now and now I'm stuck in this reality and I'm the slayer and Buffy's been tinkering with magic and she's got Oz and hey! I'm okay with that! I mean I'm gay now!

GILES: Are you sure you're okay with that?

WILLOW: Yes! Lemme go!

GILES: This Tara you just mentioned. I don't think you've mentioned her before.

WILLOW: Well you haven't met her yet. She doesn't show up until we go to college.

GILES: College? (he notes something on a pad as he looks in the book on his lap)

WILLOW: Yeah I join a wiccan group. I mean uh, Buffy will join a Wiccan group, and then she'll get to meet..

GILES: Buffy's most decidedly not gay.

WILLOW: Well I didn't act gay at the moment anyway and..

GILES: You've mentioned that Anya isn't Anya.

WILLOW: What?

GILES: You've slipped that before. I believe it was about six months or so ago.. (he flips a couple pages in his notepad) yes about six months ago you called Anya Cordelia. I asked you why. You said in confidence that in your reality Anya was some sort of demon.

WILLOW: A vengeance demon.

GILES: Yes. And Anya didn't appear until you and Buffy and Xander go to college.

WILLOW: Right.

GILES: But that there was someone named Cordelia who should be where Anya is.

WILLOW: Yes that's true look I can't help the other temporal anomalies that are going on. Maybe someday Cordelia's gonna show up and she'll be the vengeance demon and if that happens Gods help us cuz Cordelia as a vengeance demon's gonna be somethin' lemme tell ya.

GILES: I doubt we'll get that far. I'm hoping we resolve this tonight.

WILLOW: Resolve what?

GILES: I did some research and there's never been an example of a vampire slayer experiencing this kind of temporal disturbance, but there's this coven in Devon, England.

WILLOW: There is?

GILES: Don't interrupt me, girl.

WILLOW: Sorry.

GILES: In the early 1930s, the Coven participated in an attempt to extracize evil energies from a little girl who several years later admitted to experiencing her childhood all over again but through the eyes of her mother. There have since been several similar instances. It's a side-effect of some exorcisms of dark mystical energies.

WILLOW: So you think that's what happened to me?

GILES: I believe that is what is happening to you now. This is a most precarious and complex situation. Have you ever studied Quantum Mechanics?

WILLOW: Well, I've read a bit about it. Quantum theory is interesting but I got caught up in.. other things.

GILES: Like studying dark magicks?

WILLOW: Well. Yeah.

GILES: Silly girl.

WILLOW: Hey!

GILES: There's a theory in Quantum Mechanics called the Many Worlds Theory. According to that theory, every possible reality that could be conceived by any entity anywhere in the universe actually exists in a literally infinite number of alternate realities that coexist simultaneously.

WILLOW: Yeah. I think I've read about that. Sounds lame.

GILES: Yes, well, either that theory is correct and your soul has somehow jumped alternate realities as a side effect to your foolishly toying with the physical laws of nature by accumulating enough dark magicks to threaten to destroy the world from which you are from, or that theory is incorrect.

WILLOW: And what if that's true?

GILES: Then that would mean myself, the Buffy I know, the Xander, Oz, and every living thing in this reality are merely figments of your imagination, and I for one feel uncomfortable entertaining that thought to say the least.

WILLOW: S-so you're not gonna kill me?

GILES: Well, Willow. To be fair the only way to test this theory is to kill you.

WILLOW: What?

GILES: See, if you die, and I still exist, then that means you are the soul of a woman who attempted to destroy the reality from which you stem. By killing you I will have protected my reality from the day when you go off on a wild apocalyptic killing spree.

WILLOW: But what if you're a figment of my mind?

GILES: I've thought about that at great length, and I've come to the conclusion that if I'm just an illusion of yours and nothing more, I simply don't wish to exist, because you make a poor slayer, Willow.

WILLOW: Ack!

GILES: You are diligent and studious. You do your work and have been exquisite in your training, but when push comes to shove the choices you make out in the field have caused more vampires to escape, more victims to continue being victims, and the property damage has been tremendous!

WILLOW: Hey! Buffy didn't do any better! She kept Angel alive and he almost destroyed everybody!

GILES: I don't care about Angel. In recent memory he's the only vampire you've managed to kill, and that was by doing absolutely nothing! When I kill you, another slayer will come to take your place and she couldn't possibly be any worse than you have been.

DAWN: (off camera) get away from her!

Giles looks away from Willow and towards the door, then stands up and away from the chair and table in abject horror, his eyes still glowing green.

CUT TO shot of the door from the perspective of over Willow, who's still strapped to the table. Dawn stands there in front of the other Scoobies, a large gun pointed at Giles. The others are similarly armed and make a lovely tableau. They appear determined to stop Giles and protect their friend.

GILES: Oh dear. You don't understand.

ANYA: We understand all too well you pervert!

OZ: I hung around after everyone else left, and saw you carry an unconscious Willow to the car.

WILLOW: Oz! You saved me?

OZ: Sure.

XANDER: I don't know who you are, green glowing eyes impostor, or what you've done with OUR Giles, but we're gonna mop the floor with you!

GILES: (incredulous. lost) But SHE's the impostor!

Buffy & Oz rush to the table and begin removing the restraints. Dawn takes a few steps cautiously but with great confidence towards Giles.

BUFFY: HER eyes ain't the ones glowing!

ANYA: Just stay right there pervert or we'll make you wish you were dead! </